My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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