R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
wow bdsm is so cute
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