Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
