you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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