Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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