using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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