TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
