She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
