is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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