I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
