I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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