We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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