What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
