we're blogging at a bar
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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