I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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