How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
