One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
