No awkward lesbian experiences without me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
