So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
