farters have to be the big spoon...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
