I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
