Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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