is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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