I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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