So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
