dude i'm inner monologue high
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
