How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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