I skipped work to stalk him.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize