i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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