she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
