D3 body, D1 cock
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
