New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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