dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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