so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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