I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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