im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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