you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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