who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize