Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
