If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
