Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
