he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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