Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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