He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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