these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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