My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
