So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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