It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
