Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
