I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
