Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
