Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
