I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
