yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
how do you play pong handcuffed?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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