I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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