There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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