I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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