Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
