on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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