I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
