Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
