you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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