before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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