I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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