i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
