Your tits are I can't wait for
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
