Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
