good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
