wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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