Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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