my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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