all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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