No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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