But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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