He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
