I didn't shave. On purpose
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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