He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i believe in u and ur pee
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
