"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am puke
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
