I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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