Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
