Christians are straight up FREAKS
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
