Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
