she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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